Inner Resilience is the Key to Thriving

Over the last two weeks, life has felt chaotic.

The kids are out of school, I’m working from home, and my wife is still teaching for the next week.

It’s very stressful trying to parent and work at the same time.

Case in point: there was one afternoon last week when we had 7 boys from the neighborhood in the backyard (including my son), my daughter was walking to a coffee shop with friends, and I was in back-to-back meetings the entire time. Not to mention the two dogs were barking at everyone who walked by and the cats kept trying to get out of the house any time the door was opened.

It was almost impossible to concentrate with all this chaos around. I was getting worked up because the current situation wasn't helping me.

As I started to think about telling all the boys to go home and my daughter to stay in the house, I realized how frustrated I was. I slowed down and put myself in my kid's shoes. They were just being kids. They were having so much fun, was taking them away from their friends the right approach? I didn't think so.

So if they were going to keep doing their things, what could I do differently?

I can reframe this challenge. This isn't the end of the world. This stress isn't going to last forever. It's a temporary problem that I can figure out how to manage for now. Instead of being frustrated with everyone around me, I can change my approach.

After I wrapped up work, I checked in the the kids. They were having so much fun! Laughing, playing, talking, and connecting. I'm really glad I didn't let my frustration get the better of me earlier in the day.

As I reflected on the day with my wife, I realized this was an example of me building inner resilience.

Inner resilience refers to your ability to adapt to challenges. It’s an internal strength that allows you to cope with stress, overcome obstacles, and recover from setbacks.

It’s not about avoiding stress or difficult emotions, but rather about developing the capacity to navigate challenges effectively.

Essentially, inner resilience is the key to thriving and many studies show that building inner resilience fuels outer success.

Here are 7 signs that you’re building inner resilience:

1. You Reframe Problems: You build resilience by viewing challenges from different perspectives. Reframing a challenge or situation from a more helpful perspective can help you more effectively manage the challenge.
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2. You Recognize the Power of Positive Emotions: Positive feelings expand your thinking. Not only expand, they also spark creative problem-solving and enhance your sense of belonging.
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3. You Are Physically Active: Being more active reduces the impact of stress. Whether it's working out daily or just going on a walk, be active daily. Add regular physical activity to your routine to boost mental health and build self-worth.
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4. You Engage with Friends: Sharing with trusted friends, colleagues, and family members makes you feel less alone. Talking about challenges with the right people helps you adopt a better perspective.
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5. You Use Your Strengths: Engaging your strengths makes you see what you are capable of. You feel more authentic and able to handle whatever challenge is coming towards you. It increases your sense of meaning and control when you take on new challenges and overcome adversity.
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6. You’re Optimistic About the Future: You recognize your current challenges are temporary. Looking toward the future with optimism helps you see this. When you do this, you feel more hopeful and positive about what you're currently going through.
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7. You Know Your Purpose: Studies have found that having a clear purpose and committing fully to a mission, significantly strengthens your resilience. With a strong "why" you can overcome any "how". Here are the steps I took to define my purpose: The Purposeful Hustle.
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So while I may have been feeling stressed at the moment, stepping back and reframing the problem was the right choice.

I am seeing evidence of building inner resilience.

This doesn’t mean I go out looking for stressful situations, but I reframe what’s currently going on to see the opportunities that lie ahead.

Your action this week is to reframe a current challenge.

Take a step back and look at a problem you're currently facing from a different lens.

Instead of lamenting that you’re dealing with another challenge, ask yourself these questions:

1. What is this challenge trying to teach me?
2. What am I learning about myself from this challenge?
3. What does this challenge make possible that wasn’t possible before?

Again, you aren’t actively seeking stress in your life, but you are reframing it and looking for a positive outcome.

What opportunities are waiting to be discovered by you?